if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
