seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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