I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
