Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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