is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
