Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
