Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
