wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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