its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
