dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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