I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
