I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
