i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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