This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I cut my penus on the lid.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
