so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
