I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize