hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
