Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
