he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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