Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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