she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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