this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
