Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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