I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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