You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I deserve to be covered in dicks
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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