I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
