On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
