Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Insanewebmaster hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.

Fav 58 4049 1461
share tweet
(304): View more from West Virginia

you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC

Fav 21 4973 1030
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

what if every blade of grass was a penis?

Fav 34 4541 1453
share tweet
(781): View more from Massachusetts

it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency

Fav 20 4052 955
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.

Fav 45 8022 1084
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.

Fav 29 1803 8791
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(571): View more from Virginia

I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed

Fav 25 5353 1656
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(831): View more from California

Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.

Fav 3 807 576
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?

(224): View more from Illinois

No actually I had socks on...

Fav 0 52 2
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT