i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
