we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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