So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
