this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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