My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
