tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
