HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
