whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
