He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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