Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
