i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Also, beer. Big fan.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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