I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
