I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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