For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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