We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
