Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Houston, we have a squirter
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
