just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
