dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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