I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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