absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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