Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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