Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
