Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
