this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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