I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
