My sheets look like a crime scene.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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