she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
