you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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