bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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