I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
