we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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