i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
