I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
