Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
