I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
